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Chocolate Fish

July 15, 2013

Greetings Toastiephiles! Thank you for joining me again for some toasted goodness.

Today from our secret lab on a remote island at the bottom of the South Pacific, we shall be attempting a quintessentially kiwiana sandwich – the Chocolate Fish Toastie.


Fish-shaped, chocolate-covered, marshmallow-centred, true-blue Koiwoi delicacies.

Chocolate Fish are more than just tasty treats, however. They’re so highly-prized to New Zealanders that they’re frequently used as symbolic tokens of thanks or appreciation.


Do someone a good turn and they’re more than likely to reward you with a chocolate fish.

In fact, Chocolate Fish have become so important to the system of exchange for goods and services in New Zealand, that they have now been recognised as official currency.  Deliciously legal tender.


Mmmm. Just pay me my annual salary in these please.


But how will they toast? These specimens are filleted, descaled, and ready for the toastie-maker.


Actually, this in itself is an achievement. It’s a fish sandwich that is one hundred percent stink-free.

I believe what we have created here today is the first ever fish sandwich that could be eaten, without remorse, in a staffroom. Truly, we may have just witnessed a revolution in lunching practices.


But of course, we must progress with the toasting.  Soon after the application of heat the chocolate fish begin to melt in quite a predictable fashion.


However, about sixty seconds later, we have a volatile substance containment issue on our hands.


Indeed, marshmallow is one of the most heat-sensitive and explosive elements known to Toastie Science. This is an excellent example of why it should always be used with caution and under controlled conditions, preferably with special protective gear.


And a clean-up contingency plan can be useful too.


Despite the mess, these innards are rather fabulous. Note how the chocolate coating has melted into the bread nicely, and there’s a bit of striation evident in the melted marshmallow. Magnificent!


And the cross-section. Sticky, squidgy, and pastel-coloured. Everything you want in a sandwich, obviously.


Toastability – 4/5: I’m giving this a high toastability score partly because of the rapid cooking time (which is important in busy staffrooms), but mostly because the resulting MARSHMALLOW EXPLOSION was really entertaining to witness and I have a perverse pleasure in those kinds of things. You’re not surprised, right?

Taste – 2.5/5: despite the enjoyment I had in making this toastie, unfortunately it didn’t taste quite as good as I had anticipated. It was satisfyingly sticky and sweet, but the toasting process seemed to compromise the flavour of the Chocolate Fish. Perhaps, like sushi, Chocolate Fish are best consumed raw. However I do think that this toastie deserves to catch on and become a staple of classic kiwi dishes, to be served alongside the pavlova and chips & dip on Waitangi day. That would be choice. Bro.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. July 15, 2013 9:33 pm

    Welcome back. I always look forward to your blog – and I have to admit that toasted pink marshmallow looks very yum!

    Have you considered going for gold plated Kiwiana and toast some choc fish in Vogels? Or are Buzz Bars next?

  2. Izzy permalink
    August 6, 2013 8:09 pm

    Yay! So happy to see an update! Please continue this important (and delicious) research.

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