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Fruju

March 18, 2012

It’s nearly the end of summer here in Toastieland, but there’s just enough of it left to experiment with seasonally-appropriate toasties. The days are warm, the beach beckons, and after a dip in the sea what would be the perfect snack? Something cool and refreshing…and encased in two pieces of bread.

Grab your jandals, nip down to the dairy and get yourself a Fruju. We’re going to make the ultimate Summer Toastie.

Ooh aah ooh, etc etc.

So, first things first, what to do about the stick? I could try breaking up the Fruju to get the stick out, but I hate to ruin the symmetry of it. Visual aesthetics are such an important factor in toastie-making. Instead, I’m just going to leave it in there and see what happens…and hope it doesn’t catch fire.

OFFICIAL DISCLAIMER: The Toastie Project does not endorse the application of small wooden objects or any material that resembles kindling to a concentrated source of heat. DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS EXPERIMENT IN UNCONTROLLED CONDITIONS. And don’t worry about Toastie Labs Inc., we’re very well supplied with smoke alarms and building insurance.

I must also admit that, given that we are melting a block of frozen liquid, I am apprehensive about the potential for a major leakage situation. Combining this with electrical equipment is possibly not the smartest move…but that’s never stopped me before. Onwards and toastwards!

But to my surprise the liquid is almost entirely absorbed by the bread. Fascinating.

After a couple of minutes there is some minor leakage, but nothing a seasoned toastie-pro can’t handle. Pah. I laugh in the face of minor leakage.

Summer toastin’, had me a blast.

After about four minutes the leakage starts to burn and smells a bit weird, so I figure it’s time to take it out of the toastie maker and examine what new delicacy I have bestowed upon the world.

And the stick just slides on out. The good news is it didn’t catch fire and burn down the building. The bad news is the oil needs changing.

A rather lacklustre cross-section. Some issues with structural integrity here I think.

Oooh but it’s pretty. Like a golden wave on a bright blue shore.

The innards aren’t quite as attractive however. It’s pretty much a sandwich of yellow mush, and I’m not sure any sandwich should be that squishy.

The taste was remarkably similar to marmalade. Intriguing. And not unpleasant. However the main problem was the texture. It reminded me of the uncooked bits you sometimes get inside French toast. They always make me feel uncomfortable, and I found myself wincing slightly when I ate it.

Mushy, marmalade French toast. Onna stick. To be frank, I’d expected something much worse but I think perhaps the Summer Toastie concept could be improved on.

OFFICIAL TOASTIE PROJECT RATING

Toastability – 4/5, easy to toast and surprisingly little mess afterwards. All in all, a very low-maintenance toastie operation to perform at the beach. Which is where of course everyone will be taking their toastie makers next summer.

Taste – 2/5, technically the taste is not bad especially if you’re a marmalade fan. However the texture is its downfall – too mushy to be tasty as it makes for a profoundly awkward toastie eating experience. And no one likes an awkward toastie.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. March 18, 2012 11:08 pm

    This is the greatest blog ever, bravo!

  2. March 23, 2012 1:14 am

    Moar please

  3. October 16, 2012 10:52 am

    We LOLed at “the oil needs changing” 🙂

  4. March 11, 2013 6:42 am

    Either Genius or madman, both ways hilarity, keep it up

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