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K Bars

May 6, 2011

The classic K Bar. Loved by children and feared by dentists. Back in my day these were 20 cents at the local dairy. What a bargain for a Kiwi confectionery icon, which not only took most of an afternoon to chew through but also left you with a brightly coloured tongue as a reward.

Two things have always troubled me though. Firstly, what does the ‘K’ stand for? And secondly, what exactly are these made of? They have a unique texture that makes them quite different to other types of candy. It’s plasticky, a bit grainy, and endlessly chewy.  I note that there’s no list of ingredients on the wrapper. Are Whittakers hiding something? Is there a secret ingredient which they don’t want us to know about? Does the ‘K’ stand for kryptonite?

The most important question however, is what happens if I toast them?

My favourite K Bar was always raspberry. Unwrapped, it smells reassuringly like the 80s.

Raspberry, orange, pineapple, lime and blackberry. Not featured is the sixth flavour available – lemon. Ew. Lemon is for losers.

Two slices of buttered bread later, and this baby’s ready for some serious toasting.

However, after only a minute or so we have a toastie-leakage crisis. Evidently K Bars melt *super* quickly. Soup anyone?

One has to move swiftly to clean up before the K Bar soup solidifies and sticks to the toastie maker.

Solidified leakage after removal.

That’s not a sentence that I ever thought I would write.

But check out this cross-section. Beautiful. This is what I’d imagine Rainbow Brite would look like, melted and arranged neatly in a sandwich.

I can’t resist a look inside at what’s inside. Such gloriously coloured innards! It’s an innard rainbow!

Mmmm. Innards.

The taste however is inedibly, brain-dissolvingly sweet. Eat too much of this and you’ll be hallucinating unicorns and smurfs until your eyes water.

But hey, if that’s your bag then go for it.


Toastability – 4.5/5, toasts quickly and evenly, but makes one hell of a mess.

Taste – 1/5, should come with a health warning.

4 Comments leave one →
  1. October 10, 2011 9:46 am

    “This is what I’d imagine Rainbow Brite would look like, melted and arranged neatly in a sandwich.” is the greatest thing I have read on the internet all day. And the photos are glorious! But oh how my teeth hurt just looking at this.

  2. Terry permalink
    March 18, 2012 12:48 pm

    this is brilliant. love your blog . and this post has to be the best, the mess is amazing

  3. Danielle permalink
    October 16, 2012 5:41 pm

    Your blog is HYSTERICAL!! More toastie melts!! I need more!! I cant wait to see what else you put in there!!

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