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K Bars

May 6, 2011
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The classic K Bar. Loved by children and feared by dentists. Back in my day these were 20 cents at the local dairy. What a bargain for a Kiwi confectionery icon, which not only took most of an afternoon to chew through but also left you with a brightly coloured tongue as a reward.

Two things have always troubled me though. Firstly, what does the ‘K’ stand for? And secondly, what exactly are these made of? They have a unique texture that makes them quite different to other types of candy. It’s plasticky, a bit grainy, and endlessly chewy.  I note that there’s no list of ingredients on the wrapper. Are Whittakers hiding something? Is there a secret ingredient which they don’t want us to know about? Does the ‘K’ stand for kryptonite?

The most important question however, is what happens if I toast them?

My favourite K Bar was always raspberry. Unwrapped, it smells reassuringly like the 80s.

Raspberry, orange, pineapple, lime and blackberry. Not featured is the sixth flavour available – lemon. Ew. Lemon is for losers.

Two slices of buttered bread later, and this baby’s ready for some serious toasting.

However, after only a minute or so we have a toastie-leakage crisis. Evidently K Bars melt *super* quickly. Soup anyone?

One has to move swiftly to clean up before the K Bar soup solidifies and sticks to the toastie maker.

Solidified leakage after removal.

That’s not a sentence that I ever thought I would write.


But check out this cross-section. Beautiful. This is what I’d imagine Rainbow Brite would look like, melted and arranged neatly in a sandwich.

I can’t resist a look inside at what’s inside. Such gloriously coloured innards! It’s an innard rainbow!

Mmmm. Innards.

The taste however is inedibly, brain-dissolvingly sweet. Eat too much of this and you’ll be hallucinating unicorns and smurfs until your eyes water.

But hey, if that’s your bag then go for it.

OFFICIAL TOASTIE PROJECT RATING:

Toastability – 4.5/5, toasts quickly and evenly, but makes one hell of a mess.

Taste – 1/5, should come with a health warning.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. October 10, 2011 9:46 am

    “This is what I’d imagine Rainbow Brite would look like, melted and arranged neatly in a sandwich.” is the greatest thing I have read on the internet all day. And the photos are glorious! But oh how my teeth hurt just looking at this.

  2. Terry permalink
    March 18, 2012 12:48 pm

    this is brilliant. love your blog . and this post has to be the best, the mess is amazing

  3. Danielle permalink
    October 16, 2012 5:41 pm

    Your blog is HYSTERICAL!! More toastie melts!! I need more!! I cant wait to see what else you put in there!!

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